The first holiday season after divorce can feel like an emotional minefield.
The pain and conflict can be overwhelming, but there are ways to minimize it and keep children insulated from the turmoil.
In these situations, I recommend that couples create a Christmas Parenting Plan.
Here’s how to craft a plan that can work for everyone:
- Discuss your desires, expectations, and any concerns. If your ex-spouse’s family traditionally hosts a Christmas Eve gathering, propose that your children spend that evening with them, and you can celebrate a special Christmas breakfast.
- Create a holiday schedule that’s crystal clear. For example, specify the exact times for transitions, drop-offs, and pick-ups.
- While flexibility is vital, try to avoid last-minute changes. If, for example, a change is needed due to unforeseen circumstances, communicate promptly with your ex-spouse and ensure your children are aware of the new plan.
- Use messaging apps or shared calendars for efficient communication and schedule coordination. These tools streamline actions and reduce misunderstandings.
- Actively involve your children in planning. Encourage them to share their wishes for the holidays.
By implementing a Christmas Parenting Plan, you can minimize conflict and ensure a peaceful holiday season for your children.
Beryl McNeill is a Calgary divorce lawyer who strongly believes mutual respect and understanding go a long way toward resolving family law matters. As a Registered Collaborative Law practitioner in Calgary, she has dedicated her firm to amicable, cooperative negotiation as a means for settling divorces. Furthermore, throughout her law career, Beryl has seen the costs of adversarial negotiations, both financial and emotional. In emphasizing the collaborative approach, Beryl offers her clients a more efficient model that preserves personal and monetary assets alike.
More and more individuals are attracted to resolving their family law matters in a civil, respectful way. Therefore, they come to Beryl from many walks of life—as professionals in the oil and gas industry and their spouses, business owners, and working spouses with children. Clients say that even after a single consultation with Beryl they feel less stressed and more clear about the way forward.
Beryl understands the often fearful, emotional early stages of divorce. Incorporating skills developed from her training as a life coach, Beryl helps clients move beyond their stress response to more logical, creative thinking. Once there, she works with clients to discover what’s truly important to them in attaining divorce. Furthermore, she encourages clients to picture what a successful settlement would look like a year or more down the road as a means of focusing on their goals. By educating and empowering clients, Beryl seeks to transform the way they resolve family disputes—in a more constructive, intelligent and amicable way than would be possible otherwise.
Finally, Beryl is very active with the Family Bar and the Collaborative Law Community. Her involvement provides her clients with the assurance that she has her finger on the pulse of Family Law in Alberta, offering them a distinct advantage in their quest for equity and civility.