A question that I get asked most often is: “How do I get my ex to agree to divorce mediation?”
I know how tricky it can be to convince someone to come to the table and work out your differences. But, it is possible!
First and foremost, it’s important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Put yourself in your ex’s shoes and try to see things from their perspective. Acknowledge their fears and concerns, and let them know that you’re willing to work together to find a solution that works for everyone.
It’s also crucial to communicate the benefits of mediation clearly and effectively. Emphasize the fact that mediation allows you to avoid the cost, time, and emotional strain of going to court. Not to mention, it gives both parties a greater sense of control and autonomy over the outcome.
If your ex is hesitant to participate in mediation, it might be helpful to suggest starting with a consultation or preliminary meeting with the mediator. This can give them a chance to ask questions, voice their concerns, and get a better sense of what the process will entail.
Finally, don’t be afraid to appeal to their sense of responsibility and compassion. Remind them that mediation is in the best interest of your children, and that it can help you both move forward in a healthier, more positive direction.
Remember, getting your ex on board with mediation is just the first step. But with a little patience, persistence, and understanding, you can lay the foundation for a more peaceful and collaborative co-parenting relationship.
Beryl McNeill is a Calgary divorce lawyer who strongly believes mutual respect and understanding go a long way toward resolving family law matters. As a Registered Collaborative Law practitioner in Calgary, she has dedicated her firm to amicable, cooperative negotiation as a means for settling divorces. Furthermore, throughout her law career, Beryl has seen the costs of adversarial negotiations, both financial and emotional. In emphasizing the collaborative approach, Beryl offers her clients a more efficient model that preserves personal and monetary assets alike.
More and more individuals are attracted to resolving their family law matters in a civil, respectful way. Therefore, they come to Beryl from many walks of life—as professionals in the oil and gas industry and their spouses, business owners, and working spouses with children. Clients say that even after a single consultation with Beryl they feel less stressed and more clear about the way forward.
Beryl understands the often fearful, emotional early stages of divorce. Incorporating skills developed from her training as a life coach, Beryl helps clients move beyond their stress response to more logical, creative thinking. Once there, she works with clients to discover what’s truly important to them in attaining divorce. Furthermore, she encourages clients to picture what a successful settlement would look like a year or more down the road as a means of focusing on their goals. By educating and empowering clients, Beryl seeks to transform the way they resolve family disputes—in a more constructive, intelligent and amicable way than would be possible otherwise.
Finally, Beryl is very active with the Family Bar and the Collaborative Law Community. Her involvement provides her clients with the assurance that she has her finger on the pulse of Family Law in Alberta, offering them a distinct advantage in their quest for equity and civility.