The holidays can bring both joy and stress, especially if you are newly separated or in the middle of a divorce. By planning early, focusing on your children’s needs, and caring for your own emotional health, you can create a more peaceful season for everyone involved.
Start Planning Early
When it comes to the holidays, one of the best steps you can take is to plan ahead. Waiting until the last minute will increase tension and confusion, particularly if this is your first year in separate households. Planning early gives you time to discuss schedules, understand expectations, and reduce the chance of conflict.
Review Your Parenting Plan
If you share children, start with your parenting plan. Talk with your former spouse about where the children will spend each holiday, how gift exchanges will work, and what family traditions you want to continue. When possible, sit down together for this discussion.
If communication is difficult, use helpful tools such as Our Family Wizard or 2houses. These programs are designed to make co-parenting easier and more organized. Parents with children under the age of sixteen in Alberta must also complete the Parenting After Separation Course, which offers valuable insights for building healthy routines and reducing stress for children.
If you find that you cannot have a productive conversation with your former spouse, it may be time to reach out for professional guidance. A family lawyer or mediator can help you find solutions that work for your family and reduce unnecessary conflict.
Keep the Focus on Your Children
The holidays are meant to be special for your children. Even though your family situation has changed, your children should still feel joy and stability. Try to protect them from your adult disagreements and keep their traditions as familiar as possible. Think about what matters most to them and work together to make that happen.
Care for Yourself Too
This time of year, can also bring emotional challenges for you. Separation is a significant life change that often includes grief, sadness, or anger. You may not have your children on certain days, so think ahead about how you want to spend that time.
Some people find comfort in being with family or friends, while others prefer to take quiet time for reflection. Whatever you choose, plan it in advance. Treat yourself kindly and remember that self-care is part of healing. Anticipating your emotions and creating a plan for those moments can help you feel more grounded and less overwhelmed.
Contact McNeill Family Law
At McNeill Family Law in Calgary, we understand how emotionally charged the holiday season can be during or after divorce. Our team can help you plan for the holidays in a way that supports both you and your children. Call 587-956-9300 or contact us online to schedule a consultation and learn how we can help guide you through this process with respect and care.
McNeill Family Law is located at #200, 638 11 Ave S.W., Calgary, Alberta T2R 0E2.
FAQs
- When should I start planning for the holidays after separation?
It is best to begin as soon as possible. Early planning helps prevent last minute stress and allows both parents to focus on creating a positive experience for their children. - What if communication with my former spouse is difficult?
Consider using a co-parenting app or asking a professional for assistance. Having a neutral person helps you make decisions that can improve communication and reduce tension. - How can I make the holidays easier for my children?
Focus on their happiness and traditions. Keep routines familiar, speak respectfully about your co-parent and help your children feel secure in both homes. - What should I do if I feel lonely during the holidays?
Plan activities that bring you comfort. Spend time with friends, volunteer, or create new traditions that make the season meaningful for you.
Beryl McNeill is a Calgary divorce lawyer who strongly believes mutual respect and understanding go a long way toward resolving family law matters. As a Registered Collaborative Law practitioner in Calgary, she has dedicated her firm to amicable, cooperative negotiation as a means for settling divorces. Furthermore, throughout her law career, Beryl has seen the costs of adversarial negotiations, both financial and emotional. In emphasizing the collaborative approach, Beryl offers her clients a more efficient model that preserves personal and monetary assets alike.
More and more individuals are attracted to resolving their family law matters in a civil, respectful way. Therefore, they come to Beryl from many walks of life—as professionals in the oil and gas industry and their spouses, business owners, and working spouses with children. Clients say that even after a single consultation with Beryl they feel less stressed and more clear about the way forward.
Beryl understands the often fearful, emotional early stages of divorce. Incorporating skills developed from her training as a life coach, Beryl helps clients move beyond their stress response to more logical, creative thinking. Once there, she works with clients to discover what’s truly important to them in attaining divorce. Furthermore, she encourages clients to picture what a successful settlement would look like a year or more down the road as a means of focusing on their goals. By educating and empowering clients, Beryl seeks to transform the way they resolve family disputes—in a more constructive, intelligent and amicable way than would be possible otherwise.
Finally, Beryl is very active with the Family Bar and the Collaborative Law Community. Her involvement provides her clients with the assurance that she has her finger on the pulse of Family Law in Alberta, offering them a distinct advantage in their quest for equity and civility.